searching.for.god.knows.what

moving day...

2009-11-25T22:07:00.001-08:00

ok so I'm kinda getting things figured out here and I've decided that since I've really lost all umph to keep things going here I'm moving... blogger's just not doing it for me and I'm having trouble finding the time and whatnot to adequately keep this going... so I'm moving to www.himynameisjaked.wordpress.com. I hope to see you there as I give notes from the battle ground...

ta-ta

here's @needtobreathe

2009-10-25T22:57:00.001-07:00

too bad they didn't play the one song of theirs I knew...

big and little

2009-10-25T17:03:00.001-07:00

nice day... bad calls...

2009-10-24T16:38:00.001-07:00

my afternoon at ewu...

dicks

2009-10-24T11:30:00.001-07:00

mmmm grease bombs...

SUPPRISE

2009-10-11T19:23:00.001-07:00

Heather is very supprised by all her man friends

Registration

2009-10-02T17:57:00.001-07:00

Getting everybody checked in...

fall retreat

2009-09-29T21:22:00.001-07:00

here's a quick logo for our retreat...

just did it

2009-09-28T19:20:00.001-07:00

super excited for my first pair of nike's EVER

The Blazing Challenge

2009-09-16T22:24:00.001-07:00

Bob, Zach, and Sunu rocking the blazing challenge

Gameday

2009-09-15T07:45:00.003-07:00

bobcat gameday pt1

Gameday

2009-09-15T07:45:00.001-07:00

bobcat gameday pt 2

Gameday

2009-09-15T07:44:00.003-07:00

bobcat gameday pt 3

6am

2009-09-15T07:44:00.001-07:00

the only two good things about being up at 6am, parking and sunrise

a beautiful morning

2009-08-10T07:11:00.001-07:00

i could get used to this, stoked for staff meetings today

Sweatpea!!!

2009-08-08T19:57:00.001-07:00

sweetest afro-cuban band i've ever heard

sleepy-time crash

2009-08-07T13:07:00.001-07:00

totally digging the new pet bed...

Road Trip Crash

2009-08-06T11:10:00.001-07:00

ready to make the trip from billings to bozeman

Hylite Canyon

2009-08-01T13:57:00.001-07:00

after the hike, before the bear

otl

2009-07-28T10:47:00.001-07:00

the one thing billings has on bozeman

cool original... hopefully getting you in the holiday spirit...

2009-07-02T01:41:00.001-07:00

all that's missing is his ''free candy'' sign.

monthly update #1

2009-07-01T23:27:00.000-07:00

here's the first montly update for support partners that will hopefuly go out tomorrow. click on them to make them bigger/readable. questions, comments... let me know.

currently listening to:

straylight run - about time ep

tatum my niece...

2009-06-21T20:19:00.001-07:00

the mother moose i just about hit and her baby

2009-06-19T01:51:00.001-07:00

cue the dramatic music?

2009-06-16T13:01:00.000-07:00

It's been a really long time since i've really wrote anything here of real meaning. i've gotten to post some pictures and what not but as far as substance... not so much. so here's my feeble efforts of being (somewhat) serious in what's been going on.

well i'm about half-way through the time i have to raise support for my year at montana state. as it stands right now i'm at 15%. not exactly where i'm supposed to be at this point but hey if God can part seas, keep the sun from setting, and providing food through birds this is seriously nothing. despite that it's been really tough to preserver with a real lack of momentum. and it's not just support stuff that's been rough. in the last two weeks i've had the privilege to destroy both my cell phone and ipod as well as came close to losing my car. in the saying that the Lord givith and taketh away, he's really been in the taketh away mood lately. so that's really been my prayer lately, that God would start to give this process some serious momentum.

recently, (last night) thanks to a man who's been a phenomenal encouragement to me gave me a link to a talk by dr. david jeremiah entitled "when you are in a hurry and God isn't." one of the things that really stood out to me is when he talked about patience being the same thing as endurance.

"no matter what kind of shape you are in if you push yourself to the limit you will come to the place where you hit 'the wall.' that means you come to the place where your mind and your body begin to argue with one another. your mind says 'i can't do this anymore!' and your body starts to agree. but because you are determined you just keep putting one foot infront of the other until you come to the point where you break through the wall. and you get a new burst of energy and you get what they call the 'second wind' and with the second wind you get a new burst of energy even greater then you had at the beginning..."

i feel like this is the part of the story where the plot is supposed to really take a turn. where things start going right for our hero... where the second wind really kicks in. because Lord knows i've hit the wall. i've hit the wall, backed up and ran into it even harder only to be knocked on my butt again. so here i am back in billings hoping and praying for God to show up in this last month and a half. i've got 85% to go and not alot of phone numbers to call. so please be in prayer. thanks and hopefully i'll be able to do this a little more often and so they won't be so long. and in everything let God's will be done.

listening to:

emery - ...in shallow seas we sail

my desktop

2009-06-15T18:16:00.000-07:00

checkstand art #1: the elephant

2009-06-08T16:30:00.001-07:00

checkstand art #2: only one pen was harmed in the creation of this...

this is what i get to eat my breakfast out of

2009-06-02T15:59:00.001-07:00

the lovely ding waiting for me after work.

2009-06-01T03:17:00.001-07:00

i love montana summer nights

even crash enjoyes a good western

2009-05-30T03:36:00.001-07:00

support raising can take you to some pretty spectacular locals

2009-05-27T22:30:00.001-07:00

growing old is getting old

2009-05-25T20:36:00.001-07:00

i think this is my favorite song from their awesome album

looks like i'm raising support for two now...

2009-05-23T00:28:00.001-07:00

Posted via Pixelpipe.

i just loaded and unloaded this 1000 lb of dog food

2009-05-16T01:49:00.001-07:00

Posted via Pixelpipe.

mindless designs

2009-05-15T09:30:00.000-07:00

just messing around, nothing to see here...

x-men origins:wolverine

2009-05-15T09:12:00.001-07:00

saw this opening night but i've been so busy that i haven't had any time to put it together. also saw star trek a couple nights ago, review on the way along with a few other's i've seen in the last couple weeks/months. oh and don't get me wrong, this movie was somewhat entertaining but i'm a comic book nerd, i've got expectations

click to make me bigger

the day the earth stood still

2009-05-11T19:25:00.000-07:00

i saw the original way back in high school and the remake a couple weeks ago. had to re-watch the original to remember why someone would want to re-make it. my advice... i'll let the review speak for itself.

click to make it bigger

just before sunrise

2009-05-11T11:28:00.001-07:00

Posted via Pixelpipe.

my view for the next couple hours

2009-05-09T15:20:00.001-07:00

bumper to bumper all the way up 11th.

Posted via Pixelpipe.

its not a party without a flat

2009-05-08T18:23:00.001-07:00

the college of nursing 09 the best room in bozeman to have a heart attack.

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a day in photos

2009-05-05T22:53:00.000-07:00

ok so i thought i would try something different that as far as i can think of nobody, at least nobody i know has done. every hour, on the hour, (or as close as i could get) i took a picture of what i was doing, or something around me. i figure that if a picture is worth a thousand words than a couple pics might show a day in my life a little better. so without further ado here’s my day.

7:00am

aww, walmart in the morning, nobody around, just me and 15 other empty registers.

8:00am
got bored so i stocked the gum’s in my isle and made sure they all lined up perfectly. a good job for someone who’s ocd.

9:00am
i thought this was kinda funny… really nothing about walmart really springs great ideas… i mean this photo entry was thought up while there so you know. ps happy cinco de mayo.

10:00am
got moved between the door and the deli, pretty much torture because i could see how nice and sunny it was outside and got to smell everyone’s lunch while i waited for my own.

11:00am

it looks like these kids are giving their mom a wet willie. creepy. also don’t forget to get mom a card. all the good ones are probably gone but hey at least you tried right?

12:00pm
don’t even think of stealing stuff or ol’ silvia will stomp on your face with her size 13 sneakers. not really sure why she wears such large shoes but the fact of the matter is, you don’t question silvia.

1:00pm

i know i’m a geek, a nerd, a dork, but also more of a star wars guy, but one things for sure, i’m really looking forward to seeing star trek this weekend.

2:00pm

so yeah this is a fan, all the isles have them, that’s about it. not much going on… so close to being done.

3:00pm

clocking out for the day, now it’s time to head to make some support calls, and by sum, i mean a couple hours wort, out of the fire, into the frying pan.

4:00pm

bathroom break in between calls. for all the ladies out there, this is called a urinal, i know it’s sad, you’ll never get to use one.

5:00pm

grabbing a drink, support raising is hard work. thank goodness for free water.

6:00pm

in honor of whatever cinco de mayo is in honor of, nothing like some genuine mexican food to celebrate, something… also starting to rain.

7:00pm

the slam, @christownley talking about king david ‘acting a fool’ by dancing around in a priestly garment (=tighty whities). there’s really more to the story but i think you should just think about that for a while.

8:00pm

the aftermath of dancing/mosh pit after playing david chrowder’s undignified. fun to see them really get into it.

9:00pm

two of the coolest 7th graders you’ll probably never meet.

well that’s it, that was pretty much my day. it was fun. the end.

listening to:

anberlin - new surrender

best 10 bucks i've ever spent

2009-05-04T15:09:00.001-07:00

Posted via Pixelpipe.

one week in

2009-05-03T22:45:00.000-07:00

one down, thirteen to go. i am pretty about three months from when when i need my support raised by and at a lofty 7%. i can honestly say... this is not what i'm gifted in. i really don't have a heart for it. i mean don't get me wrong i'm excited for what i'm going to get to do when i'm done. but that's where my heart is. i do really enjoy the actual support appointments, it's just getting to that point that i really don't have any talent in. i hate talking on the phone. like with fiery passion hate, like how much george bush hates terrorism. but it's really been a stretching thing you know? i can honestly say that it's not me getting things done. because if it was me i'd be at a whopping 0%. so i am truly thankful for that.

on a lighter note i've been listening to a cd a ton that i plan on purchasing on tuesday. the band's name is the dangerous summer and the lp is called 'reach for the sun.' it comes out on may 5th on hopeless records. i originally stumbled upon this band's first ep, 'there's no such thing as science,' before they were signed back in early 2006. to say that i listened to it a couple times is like saying napoleon kinda invaded a few countries. the ep was re-released with a few new tracks when the band signed to hopeless records, with the help of fellow baltomore band all time low, under the title 'if you could only keep me alive' in 2007.

really the only way to describe this band is they are the band that opens for the band that you went to see. they didn't change your life but they were a solid band. they blend a gritty, emotional, openness in their lyrics with a catchy but not overly polished sound. i think more than anything, tds are reminiscent of a nostalgic sound i have been listening to for years. it's this nostalgic sound that's like going home from college over christmas break. all your friends are getting together taking a break from the present to remember the past. the lyrics, while not profound, are honest, and its not always pretty.

listening to:

the dangerous summer - reach for the sun

cold rainy morning

2009-05-03T11:54:00.001-07:00

Posted via Pixelpipe.

singing in a language i can't understand

2009-05-03T01:35:00.001-07:00

gotta support the former roomie

i love the smell of free comics in the morning. even if the selection sucks

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i wish everyday was like this

2009-05-01T18:52:00.001-07:00

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the last crusade...

2009-04-30T02:10:00.001-07:00

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my guys... studs

2009-04-29T02:06:00.001-07:00

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shoulda stayed in portland

2009-04-28T17:12:00.001-07:00

a busy morning at walmart

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msu

2009-04-27T15:51:00.001-07:00

Posted via Pixelpipe.

portland

2009-04-25T22:40:00.000-07:00

so here i am, portland or, the greenest city in the united states, the rose city, the most populated city in oregon, the thirtieth most populated city in the united states, and according to wikipedia, the hub of the american do-it-yourself youth culture. i’m not really sure exactly what that means so i’m just going to move on. i’ve been privy to such local sights as the hawthorne bridge, interstate 84, and the local denny’s. i can’t tell you which hotel i’m staying at but i can tell you that there are two trees involved. here’s a picture of what i’m sure portland is supposed to look like.

for all i’ve ever seen this is a more accurate picture of the portland looks like.

anyway i’ve traveled for 12 hours and 800 miles in order to learn all about what it means to fully rely on God when it comes to, well basically everything. but mostly the area of finances. i’m currently finishing up my last night of ministry partner development. below is a small (oh so very small) example of the notes i’ve been taking all day today on what it looks like to both be bold in asking people to partner with me in what God’s been leading me to but also in trusting that God will provide everything that i need. not always so easy…

so here i am, tired, overwhelmed, broken, but excited. this is my sending out, my commissioning. this is the real deal. i’m a missionary. crazy huh? to be honest… i never really saw this day coming… know what i mean? as a kid i always wanted to be a cop or a fire-fighter (screw being an astronaut, i’ve seen space movies, nothing good ever happens in space) and then as i grew up, a musician, a rock star. and then even later an engineer. i mean that’s what i’ve busted my hump to be over the last five years. but a missionary on a school campus as my full time occupation? never. it just goes to show that you really never know what curve balls you’re going to be thrown. i mean if you talked to me this time last year i would have told you that i’m going to do my internship at boeing, graduate in december, and then probably move to seattle and start living in “the real world” (not the mtv real world, because there’s really nothing real about that but it would be pretty fun to live in a house with all those crazy people right?)

but starting tomorrow it’s time to start job number 3, support raising. i’ve figured out what i need to raise to cover the entire year. yep, I have until Aug 15th to have that pledged to crusade or i’m out. like out out. like no job, no place to go and a 12 month lease to pay. so yeah, i think it’s pretty safe to say that i’m going to need lots, and lots, and lots of prayer over the summer. well i’m bushed and have another morning of “class” tomorrow morning as well as a lovely 12 hour drive back to Bozeman so i’m going to hit the sack. goodnight…

listening to:

mansions - new best friends

comic style movie review

2009-04-19T13:30:00.000-07:00

got this idea from a pretty cool guy. more to follow.

click to make it bigger. (twss)

the first

2009-04-13T11:14:00.000-07:00

here's the letter that i sent out with my graduation announcements. hopefuly it gives you some insight into what's going on in my life.

hello all, in case you don’t remember, (and i don’t blame you) i’m jake demaray, i’m 23 and now a recent graduate from montana state university with a degree in mechanical engineering. the reason i’m writing this is because, well let’s face it, i haven’t really been around much for the last couple years and i really wanted to update you on what God’s been doing in my life so far and where i think he’s taking me in the future. i actually don’t have a computer at the moment and so i’m writing this in segments on barrowed laptops at various coffee shops. so if it seems a little scattered that’s why. anyway…
where to begin? well we can start with school. i graduated from msu in december with a degree in mechanical engineering. a feat that i still really haven’t come to grips with. me, a college grad… and in just under 5 years. this last summer i had the privilege to partake in an internship with the boeing company out in the seattle, washington area. it was quite an experience. i worked for the interiors group for the boeing 787 dreamliner, working with the testing and certification of airplane monuments. to everyone who doesn’t work at boeing, what that means is that i helped test airplane closets, partitions, and walls for their new “airplane of the future.” during my brief stint at boeing i was able to see how big of a company boeing is and they took really good care of me. i lived in the basement of a beautiful house with a view many would hope to retire to with a friend from msu. after finishing my internship up in august i headed back to bozeman to finish up my last 8 credits of school. in november i received a letter offering me a full time position at the boeing company upon my graduation in december. i don’t want to give away the ending so i’m going to tarantino this and we’ll come back to this.
as for my personal life, i’ve been seeing a cute red-head who is currently finishing up her nursing degree as a montana state student on the university of montana campus in missoula. mid-april we will have been dating for three years and in may she will be graduating. what will happen next is still up in the air. the reason for this is that over the last few years God has been doing some incredible things in my life. i’d say his work has been a life-long process starting with how i’ve been raised. things really hit the high gear in college. after my freshman year i wasn’t exactly walking close to God or really seeking out his plan for my life. not to say i was doing bad things, i just wasn’t doing anything good either. this continued on into my sophomore year and on december 31st 2005 God really got my attention. i was disgusted by my apathetic existence and that night i had had enough of it. that night i put a stake in the ground. i told God that i was his. life didn’t change drastically or anything but i started getting more involved with a movement on the msu campus called campus crusade for christ. a month or two later an opportunity to go to new orleans and help people in the upper 9th ward (the area hardest hit by the broken levees) over spring break. this was a life changing week for me. i saw utter destruction. i helped people take everything they owned and pile it on the side of the streets to be picked up and taken to a landfill. it was a very sobering experience. but from there God started giving me what can only be called an eternal perspective. it can also be mentioned that it was on this trip that i met who could quite possibly be the future mrs. demaray.
the following summer i had the opportunity to go on a summer project to east asia. i say east asia due to security reasons but i’m sure you could figure out what country i’m talking about. God did great things in my life over that summer. he really gave me a heart for evangelism, discipleship, and foreign countries. that summer really took me out of my comfort zone and stuck me in the heart of a culture that doesn’t even have a clue that God exists or that he loves them and has a plan for each of their lives. i didn’t know it at the time but it was that summer that would begin to shape my understanding of the path that God has for my life.
over the last couple months of my last semester in college people began challenging me to really think about going on staff with campus crusade. at first this just seemed kinda crazy. i was going to school to be an engineer, i was going to make good money coming out of college, get married, start a family, and all that other “american dream” stuff. little did i know God was preparing my heart for a big change.
so that brings me to where i was four months ago, a college degree, a lucrative job offer, and no idea what to do with either of them. i mean on one hand i have a job with a very powerful company with endless opportunity. but on the other, i have an opportunity to give that up and serve my God and my savior. through the decision process it really all came down to one train of thought, “in 1000 years, which decision will still matter?” so i called up boeing and told them that i was unable to accept their generous job offer. so if i were to go through with this it wouldn’t start training or support raising until the end of april so i needed to find a job. due to the poor economic times those were unbelievably scarce in bozeman, let alone the rest of the us. so 3 months of searching later i was still unable to find a job and my savings was rapidly depleting. i was down to my last 30 dollars and rent was due at the end of the week. it seemed like my only choice was to move to billings and live with my mom and hope the job market was better there. i had my little toyota carolla packed with everything i own ready to make the 2 hour drive to billings and i got a phone call from wal*mart. a place that i had applied to like 2 months before and had completely written off. they wanted to give me a job. so i had a job but no place to live. well a married couple who just recently went off staff with crusade offered to let me stay in their extra bedroom as long as i need to, rent free. so what God provided, again, out of nowhere, so i started working part time at wal*mart hoping they would give me more hours. about another two weeks later i got called by an oriental establishment in town called mongolian bbq about an open dishwasher position. so i’ve been working both to make up for not being able to work for the last 4 months. and that brings me to today.
i’m sitting in a coffee shop on a barrowed laptop asking you to pray for me as i being this new chapter of my life. pray that i would never look back at turning down boeing as a mistake. pray that tabitha and i would be able to handle another year of not being able to finally get married due to life’s circumstances. pray that my support would come in and that God would continue to use this whole experience to strengthen my faith and that this story would encourage everyone who hears it. thanks for taking the time to read all this and i hope that it encouraged you. if you are going to be in the bozeman area on may 9th please join me for a reception after my graduation. and don’t feel like you have to come to the graduation itself, those are pretty boring. i pray that God would bless you as you bless those around you and in all things that his will would be done. thank you.

jake demaray